Hello. I am new to this forum. My name is Jennifer. I have had DID since the age of 9. I have been very secretive as have my many alters of this. We have had so many people judge us negatively because of who we are. We just want to find some friends who understand us and are willing to accept us as is. I am the host but will not be the only one posting on here. I have several alters. They have stacked on over the years. I am 24 years old now. Some of the main alters who will post will be the ones I am in a relationship with and the ones I am closest to. J the joker, Merle Dixon, Pennywise, and another Merle Dixon (he will probably explain himself later) and I are in a polygamous marriage. We have tried relationships with others out here but it has always failed so we rely on each other. Other main ones are Eli, Jason, Oz, Eddie and Handsome Jack. Anyone can feel free to message us. You can request to speak to certain alters. We usually have pretty decent control over who comes out but not all the time mind you. We do not judge and if anyone else has alters and they want to speak to us, feel free. No judgement zone here. We don't have any room to do so.

My significant other, that I've been with for about 6 months now, has schizophrenia. We think it's SPD, simply because he understands that he hallucinates and hears voices that aren't there, but he can't grasp the concept of reality at all. He's very paranoid and lately he's been having blackouts.

He recently lost insurance so he hasn't been on medication, also he had started to not take his anti-psychotic meds because he didn't like how they made him feel = slow. Having been about a month or two without medication, his temper and emotions started becoming affected by the lack of the meds left in his system and when we would fight, he loses his temper really quick and occasionally get violent = foaming at the mouth, literally.

After going through a very emotional day, lots of crying/emotions, we had some friends over and we were having a good time, when he comes to sit behind me and rest his head on my shoulder. He gets really close to my ear and then whispers "kill them", it took me a minute to realize what he just said, and when I turned to him and asked what he said he had no idea what I was talking about = I told him he'd said that and he did not believe me. Later on, I asked him about it again and he told me he just blacked out, he didn't even remember leaning on my shoulder.

I'm worried about him, and I really don't know what to do about it. We're trying to get him on insurance as soon as possible but we don't have a high enough income right now to get him the insurance he needs. Recently, he hasn't been getting a lot of sleep either, could this cause the blackouts and/or the increased "psychotic episodes"? Please help..

He said he cares when i told him i have depression and he wants to help. (He meaning my boyfriend) but he just puts me down for always sleeping and becoming disinterested in the things i used to love. He doesnt mean it in a bad way.. like he tries to talk to me. But i can tell hes getting annoyed.. i can tell hes rushing the call. But look its 6 am, i cant sleep, he went to bed and i just want to know what i can do.. my head is spinning with thoughts. I have no one to talk to. And it isnt like he doesnt know what to do.. his sister is struggling with mental health as well and also some friends of his call him for help. Does he just not care?

so i’m writing this post because i accidentally killed my dog out of anger. i had the dog for about 6 months and i loves him, i really did. he was the cutest. i never got him a cage but i had a little setup for him when i would be away at work, which was all day pretty much. so as i come home sometimes he’s out out setup, which was a gated area in the house, and he’s pissed and shitted everywhere and he liked to chew on the wall borders. so i would whip his ass, sometimes going to far and really hurting him. i would never beat him because of nothing and i never came home looking to beat him but this anger inside of me, that’s been there for 7 years, would always come out and i wouldn’t realize what i’ve done till after i’ve done it. so this saturday i came home to a messed up house and i snapped. i kicked the $#%^ out of him a couple times and i beat him in his head as well. i ###$ him up pretty bad. i put him in the new cage i had bought for him, which i didn’t use because i didn’t feel right having him caged up all day, and i dragged the cage to the balcony and left him out there while i cleaned up. when i went to go check on him some time later, he was dead. my dog was dead. i couldn’t believe it i couldn’t believe what i had done. i feel horrible inside and i don’t know how to move on from this. i buried him that same night out of love and respect but still man, i’m so wrong. i can’t stop crying.
i’ve had deep anger issues and a whole lot of other problems, which i’ve kept bottled inside of me. my father was killed in 2010, which was my senior year in high school and i was never the same. i have friends but our relationships aren’t strong. i find it hard to talk to people and bond with anyone. i don’t know ho to feel i don’t know how to act. i feel like a soulless vessel. a dead man walking. i seriously need help. i feel like a murderer and i can’t stop thinking about my boy. i can’t believe i did that to him. i’m so lost

I am starting to think that any help the government offers the mentally ill is a scam and it's all about the money and no one is helped but those running the city. I live in a city that is exploiting the mentally ill by way of creating a program to keep the mentally ill out of jail.If any of you know anything about the jail system and how they profit off criminals and how plea bargaining is the standard offer you should know this is against the law.
This offer is given to the mentally ill homeless population, even if you are innocent you have to plead guilty or you will not be released so you lie! Commit perjury or go back to jail! The homeless that are mentally ill sleep outdoors and if caught, they will be ticketed and sent to court. Many do not remember to go to court especially the mentally ill so they get arrested for failure to comply it never ends and it never helps yet this city keeps doing this over and over and they cry the jail is full of homeless and in needs to stop says the Sheriff but it wont because it makes money for the city elite.They target the poor the homeless and the mentally ill knowing they are easy game.

The "criminal" (my son ) is in court for his crime of sleeping in the mountains (trespassing) the judge has seen him before and thinks he would benefit from The Program,the "criminal" wants a cigarette and to get away from the jail house bullies that harass him so naturally he agrees to go into the program. I might add he gave me permission to speak to his public defender to discuss the program with me but she would not return my calls - the day after my son agreed to the program without being able to consult me,she called me back.

The program cost the city quite a bit of money for a program that dispenses meds - most of which goes to the employees.My son was released from jail looking like a cave man - no haircut offered,no clothing - he was given a pair of shoes with no shoe strings from this caring program of ten years...how degrading is that? And he was forced to live with criminals at a work release program until housing was found for him (4 months). I had to beg my other son to let him come live with us as my son was having his clothing ( my other son bought him a Winter coat,shoes etc.) stolen and money being suckered out of him.This is the SAFE place they ordered him to...all about the clients well being right? Ha ha.
Here is the program - group with an instructor that is "Playing" the part... he gives homework that I can't even understand,it's stupid and makes no sense I ask my son what are you supposed to do with this he says I don't know.You also have a weekly meeting with your therapist and of course the forced meds,if you are not on medicare/medicaid you must pay for your own meds. As far as your basic needs being met as stated in their brochure,they are not met. One has to wonder where is all the money really going? I've seen State run re-habs rip off the tax paying people by hiring staff that were not even licensed therapist! No felony? You qualify. My so had his therapist replaced....because medicare would not pay her -why? they wont tell us why but I'm guessing she was not qualified to help my son. She comes from the local mental health center which is in cahoots with the courts and this scam program...did they not know she was not qualified or were they willing to give it a shot and try to fraud to gov by hiring her anyway?

What I need is guidance,this program needs to be investigated and I can't trust any of the city officials here as they are all in on it together. So many folks have been harmed by this Judge and her peon associates,she even jumped on the money wagon and is facilitating a not needed second program which requires the client to meet with her weekly for sanctions or to be rewarded. She goes on to reward them if they've been good with a bottle of laundry detergent purchased from the dollar store!!! I kid you not,once she gave cookies?...

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